9 English conversation mistakes to avoid

Mohamed Shaik
Two young women on a sofa talking to eachother

As humans, we learn and grow through our interactions with other people. Often these encounters are centered around great conversations – rich, meaningful exchanges among a small group of people where each person actively listens and shares. Great discussions are invaluable – they enrich our understanding of people and the world around us. Socially, being someone who can engage effortlessly with others allows us to create deep friendships and gain incredible personal growth and satisfaction. In our careers, we are more effective when we work well with others – the ability to collaborate and solve problems together makes us more effective professionals and makes our businesses more successful.

Common English conversation mistakes

But what if you must hold a conversation in English and it is not your native language? One of the many obstacles to learning something new, like English conversation, is that it can be difficult, time-consuming and even a little scary! That’s why we put together a list of nine English conversation mistakes to avoid that apply whether you are speaking with one or several people at once. Keep these tips in mind to help you improve your interactions with people all over the world…

1) Faking interest in the person

One of the things that separates a conversation from a 'transaction' (such as ordering something in a restaurant) is the genuine mutual interest of each person in the other. If one isn’t interested in knowing more about the other person, neither will engage meaningfully, and the interaction will become transactional or just 'small talk'. Most people are fascinating – take the time to learn what you can about them.

2) Discussing negative and sensitive topics

People are more engaged and willing to share when they are relaxed and happy. Especially when you don’t know someone well, it is always better to focus on the positives – avoid both sharing your biggest troubles and bringing up topics that could be negative from a cultural, religious, political, or even personal perspective. There is always something positive to share!

3) Trying to 'win' an argument

Particularly when speaking with someone you don’t know well and/or someone from another country or background, it is precarious for a conversation (especially one where you are practicing your English conversation skills) to evolve into a debate or argument. It is likely that for any two people, there will be many points of disagreement, and if such differences emerge, it’s better to attempt to understand the other person’s point of view rather than to 'win' an argument. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree about specific issues and move on.

4) Disrespecting others beliefs

If you want a great conversation, others must feel you aren’t judgmental. When someone feels their ideas and beliefs are questioned or belittled, any meaningful exchange will often shut down. Instead, try listening for understanding, and you may learn something!

5) 'Hogging' the stage

It is said that great actors make their fellow performers look great. It is the essence of teamwork, and the same principle applies to great conversationalists. Ask questions that allow others to be positive, confident, and maybe even a little boastful, but certainly remember to do it in a genuine way. The positive energy will be contagious!

6) Fearing learning something unknown

There are over seven billion people worldwide, and none are exactly like you! The greatest learning experiences are often from interactions with those who are very different from ourselves. Embrace and celebrate those differences. Allow others to share their unique perspective and journey, always keeping in mind we all share so much in common. We all want to be happy, love others, and have meaning in our lives.

7) Trying to be someone you are not

There’s only one person you can be, so don’t try to be someone else or something you are not. A great conversation is based on authenticity; most people can easily sense when another is not truthful or authentic. While keeping in mind all of the other rules, it’s both acceptable and expected for you to share your own journey!

8) Monopolizing the conversation

We’ve all been in those conversations where the other person dominates by talking incessantly. At some point, we shut down, just waiting for it to end. Active listening and learning ceases. Engagement requires participation from both parties – don’t hold back from sharing, but at the same time, don’t be that person who dominates and effectively shuts down that engagement.

9) Focusing on superficial topics

What separates a great conversation from 'small talk' is the meaningful nature of the dialog. Talking about the weather doesn’t elicit much other than maybe politeness. A great conversationalist elicits meaningful thoughts from others, and those come from purposeful questions. People love to think; asking them something that requires thoughtfulness deepens the conversation's value and strengthens the relationship between the parties.

More blogs from ÃÛÌÒapp

  • A woman on her phone smiling outdoors in a city

    Understanding accents and their role in language learning

    By
    Reading time: 4 minutes

    Accents are a fascinating aspect of language that can reveal a lot about a person's background and experiences. For language learners, accents often become a central focus, sometimes to the detriment of more important language skills. In this post, we’ll explore what accents are, why people have them, and why intelligibility is more important than mastering an accent.

  • A female teacher sat in a classroom with a young child playing with toys

    Educating young learners: The importance of developing fine motor skills

    By Hawys Morgan
    Reading time: 5 minutes

    Teachers of young learners will be familiar with the importance of developing children’s fine motor skills. Building muscle strength, hand-eye coordination, and control are essential parts of students’ development during their early years.Ìý

    A holistic approach to education

    For young learners, their education is frequently holistic. A single game or activity might develop their speaking and listening skills, mathematical knowledge, social interaction, artistic development as well as motor skills. In the same way, improving fine motor skills can form a natural part of students’ English classes and can have the following benefits:Ìý

    • Builds concentration and self-esteem
    • Actively engages students in their learning
    • Develops the ability to switch between physical and mental activities
    • Improves social development and autonomy

    Below are some simple ways you can develop fine motor skills in your classroom.ÌýÌý

    Building muscle strength

    Holding a pen for prolonged periods requires strong hand, wrist and arm muscles. If you’ve ever had to sit long hand-written exams, you will be familiar with tired and aching hand muscles.

    It is important that students develop their muscle strength so they have the stamina and control needed for writing. Kneading and rolling play dough is a fun way to build these muscles. Then, children can use their playdough creations to role-play scenarios such as having a picnic or visiting a farm. They could even model it into letter shapes.

    When singing songs or telling stories to young learners, teachers often incorporate actions to reinforce meaning. This is another opportunity to build those muscles. Children could also create shadow puppets with their hands to act out stories.ÌýÌý

    Craft activities that involve scissors and gluing also help improve stamina and hand-eye coordination.Ìý

    Mark making

    Mark making is an important step in a child’s development, encouraging creativity and coordination.Ìý

    Try giving your students the opportunity to explore different mediums of mark making. For example, they could draw marks in trays of sand, jello, shaving foam, flour or rice. Talk to them about their sensory experience (Is it cold? Do you like it? What color is it?). They could start making marks with their whole hands and then, as their coordination improves, use an index finger. Then, they can start using a stick to make marks.ÌýÌý

    As their fine motor skills develop, try using magic markers, chunky crayons and egg chalks to make large marks. Egg-shaped chalks are easier for young children to grip. Each straight line, wavy line and circle is another step on the road to learning how to write.Ìý

    Pincer grip

    As children move on from general mark making, it is important to establish a correct grip when using a writing tool. This is especially important if you expect your students to go on to use a cursive style of handwriting in the future.Ìý

    The pincer grip is when we hold something with our index finger and thumb. Peeling off and placing stickers, sorting building blocks and threading beads use this grip and provide opportunities for practicing colors, numbers, vocabulary and prepositions of place. Doing up buttons or zips uses this grasp too.Ìý

    While it may be second nature for adults, for children, this grip requires precise control of the small muscles in their hands, wrists and fingers. Challenge students to pick up items with large blunt tweezers or chopsticks and work on their English at the same time (What have you got? I have a car. It’s small.).Ìý

    Tripod grip

    The next stage of development for most children is the tripod grip. It uses three fingers: the thumb, index and middle fingers. It enables children to keep their wrist steady so they can make small, precise pencil movements.Ìý

    Some children find using a rubber pencil grip, or simply wrapping an elastic band or lump of playdough around the base of the pencil helps them maintain this grip.Ìý

    At this stage, students will be learning to hold and use writing tools such as pencils, crayons, markers, chalks and paintbrushes.Ìý

    Prewriting activities

    Prewriting activities offer more controlled fine motor skills practice. The usual progression is to start with straight lines, zig-zags, curved lines and diagonal lines. Then move on to tracing over circles and u-shapes. This is all essential preparation for writing letters and words.Ìý

    English courses for young learners are full of mazes, dot-to-dot, tracing and matching activities, all of which combine prewriting with learning English.Ìý

    When it comes to writing letters, it can be helpful if students begin by drawing the letter shape in the air or in sand. They then trace the letter shape with an index finger, before finally tracing over the letter with a pencil.

    Other writing systems

    When teaching students who use a different writing system in L1, establishing fine motor skills routines can make all the difference to students’ writing.Ìý

    It can be helpful to work on left-to-right orientation. For example, before they sit down to write, give students scarves to move from left to right in the air. These students will benefit from pre-writing activities that work on left-to-right, top-to-bottom patterns.Ìý

    Social development

    Doing up buttons, zips, and laces, turning on taps, cutting up food and opening boxes – all of these things improve students’ fine motor skills. They also promote autonomy and social development by helping students learn essential everyday life skillsÌý

    This has an added advantage for the teacher. The less time you have to spend helping students with these tasks, the more time you will have to work on other areas of their development. Not only that, it is also motivating for students to have that ‘I can do it all by myself!’ feeling.Ìý

    Students will be far better prepared to pick up a pen or pencil if they have developed strength, dexterity and stamina in their hands, wrists and arms. This will leave them free to concentrate on the language element of their classroom task, rather than the physical challenge it presents.Ìý

    AboutÌýEnglish Code

    Support your young learners withÌýEnglish Code,Ìýa 7-level course for 7-12-year-olds, offering 5 hours or more of English study per week. Available in both American English and British English versions, it promotes hands-on creative learning, investigation, fun projects and experiments.Ìý

    Focusing on project work and STEAM learning, children develop fine motor skills while learning how to collaborate and solve problems with their peers. Core functional language is at the forefront, giving students the vocabulary and tools they need to become confident speakers of English inside and outside the classroom.

  • A teenage girl smiling and doing her homework or studying at home.

    Creative writing exercises for English language learners

    By ÃÛÌÒapp Languages
    Reading time: 3.5 minutes

    Engaging in creative writing is one effective way to improve your English language skills. It allows for artistic expression and personal flair, making it a unique way to put your imagination into words. Additionally, creative writing can draw from the author’s life and experiences, providing a personal touch to the narrative. Whether you’re a beginner or an advanced learner, creative writing can help you enhance your vocabulary, grammar and overall language proficiency.

    Creative writing exercises can also benefit other forms of writing, such as business writing and technical writing, even though these are not typically considered creative writing. In this post, we’ll explore various creative writing exercises that are designed to make learning English fun and engaging, as well as improve writing skills.