How to understand – and use – English oxymorons

Jeanne Perrett
Woman and a child sat outdoors reading

If you had to explain what an oxymoron is, what would you say? And would you know how to use one correctly? You might even be using oxymorons already completely by accident. After all, how many times have you talked about a “small crowd”, described someone as a “big baby” or gossiped about an “open secret”?

Let’s explain more about the term. An is a figure of speech where two words of opposed or contradictory meaning are used together to create emphasis. While some oxymorons are created by accident – such as “small crowd” – sometimes they are used deliberately to draw attention to something or to create drama for the reader or listener. Let’s take a closer look at some popular English oxymorons and get to the bottom of what they actually mean.

What are oxymorons?
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1. Big baby

This is an oxymoron because all babies are small. The word ‘big’ is added to emphasize the fact that someone is acting more childishly than you would expect. All babies can be childish but, for some reason, adding the word ‘big’ communicates that the person you are talking about is even more childish than a regular-sized baby.

“The teacher told James not to be such a big baby when he complained about having too much homework.”

2. Act naturally

When you act, you are pretending to be someone that you are not naturally, and yet, it is very common to use the phrase “act naturally” to encourage someone to be themselves. This oxymoron works because often people have to work hard – against their desires – to just be themselves in certain company or in certain situations.

“When you meet your new boss, just act naturally.”

3. Organized mess

How can a mess be organized? This oxymoron is often used to describe the chaos that someone has created – but when they actually know where everything is.

“I can find everything on my desk because it is an organized mess.”

4. Open secret

If something is a secret, no one else is supposed to know about it. This oxymoron is a great way to describe a fact that started off as a secret, but now a select number of people know about it. Many people will gossip about this 'secret', but won’t necessarily spread it any further.

“Everyone at the party knew about Sarah’s new boyfriend as it was an open secret.”

5. Small crowd

By definition a crowd is a substantial amount of people – but adding the word 'small' makes it easier for us to imagine the difference between a crowd of 100 compared with a crowd of 500 people.

"We found a seat at the concert as there was only a small crowd of people there."

6. Deafening silence

Silence can't deafen you but it's used to describe a situation where there is a complete and noticeable lack of communication or noise. This absence of sound can be so powerful that it creates a significant emotional impact.

"The group was anxiously waiting for the doctor to respond. There was a deafening silence in the room."

7. Wise fool

Appearances can be deceiving. A wise fool is someone who seems foolish or unintelligent at first but may actually be wiser than you think.

"The hermit was a wise fool, offering meaning insights about life to those who visited him."

Oxymorons in the English language can be a terribly good way to enhance your writing and speaking, making it more varied and interesting. Try to remember any you come across and add it to your English repertoire. There are hundreds to find.

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    How English conversation works

    By Richard Cleeve

    English language teachers everywhere spend time and energy helping students practice their conversation skills. Some may ask whether conversation in English can actually be taught. And – if it can – what the rules might be.

    To explore these questions, we spoke to world-renowned . He is an Honorary Professor of Linguistics at the University of Bangor and has written more than 120 books on the subject.

    What makes a good conversation?

    “It’s very important that we put this everyday use of language under the microscope,” he says. He highlights three critical facets of conservation that we should bring into focus:

    • Fluency
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    • Appropriateness

    But all in all, he says that people should walk away from a conversation feeling like they’ve had a good chat.

    “For the most part, people want that kind of mutual respect, mutual opportunity, and have some sort of shared topic about which they feel comfortable – and these are the basics I think.”

    The rules of conversation

    There are plenty of ways you can teach learners to engage in a successful conversation – including how to speak informally, use intonation, and provide feedback. So let’s take a look at some of the key areas to focus on:

    1) Appropriateness

    Fluency and intelligibility are commonly covered in English language classes. But appropriateness can be more complicated to teach. When preparing to teach conversational appropriateness, we can look at it through two different lenses: subject matter and style:

    2) Subject matter

    “What subject matter is appropriate to use to get a conversation off the ground? There are cultural differences here,” he says. The weather is often a good icebreaker, since everyone is affected by it. The key is to find a common topic that all participants can understand and engage with.

    3) Style

    Teachers can also teach students about conversational style, focusing on how to make conversations more relaxed in English.

    There are “several areas of vocabulary and grammar – and pronunciation too, intonation for example – as well as body language, in which the informality of a conversation is expressed through quite traditional means,” says David. One example he offers is teaching students how to use contracted verb forms.

    4) Simultaneous feedback

    This is what makes a conversation tick. When we talk with someone, we let them know we’re listening by giving them feedback. We say things like “really” or “huh” and use body language like facial expressions and gestures.

    Of course, these feedback noises and expressions can be taught. But they won’t necessarily be new to students. English learners do the same when speaking their own language, anyway.

    Keep in mind though, that when it comes to speaking online on video conferencing platforms, it’s not easy to give this type of simultaneous feedback. People’s microphones might be on mute or there might be a delay, which makes reacting in conversations awkward. So, says David, this means online conversations become much more like monologues.

    5) Uptalk and accents

    Uptalk is when a person declares something in a sentence, but raises their intonation at the end. For English learners, it might sound like someone is asking a question.

    Here’s an example:

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    Now, should teachers teach uptalk? David says yes. For one, it’s fashionable to speak this way – and it can be confusing for English learners if they don’t understand why it’s being used in a conversation.

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    When it comes to accents, David is a fan. “It’s like being in a garden of flowers. Enjoy all the linguistic flowers,” he says, “That’s the beauty of language, its diversity”.