9 English conversation mistakes to avoid

Mohamed Shaik
Two young women on a sofa talking to eachother

As humans, we learn and grow through our interactions with other people. Often these encounters are centered around great conversations – rich, meaningful exchanges among a small group of people where each person actively listens and shares. Great discussions are invaluable – they enrich our understanding of people and the world around us. Socially, being someone who can engage effortlessly with others allows us to create deep friendships and gain incredible personal growth and satisfaction. In our careers, we are more effective when we work well with others – the ability to collaborate and solve problems together makes us more effective professionals and makes our businesses more successful.

Common English conversation mistakes

But what if you must hold a conversation in English and it is not your native language? One of the many obstacles to learning something new, like English conversation, is that it can be difficult, time-consuming and even a little scary! That’s why we put together a list of nine English conversation mistakes to avoid that apply whether you are speaking with one or several people at once. Keep these tips in mind to help you improve your interactions with people all over the world…

1) Faking interest in the person

One of the things that separates a conversation from a 'transaction' (such as ordering something in a restaurant) is the genuine mutual interest of each person in the other. If one isn’t interested in knowing more about the other person, neither will engage meaningfully, and the interaction will become transactional or just 'small talk'. Most people are fascinating – take the time to learn what you can about them.

2) Discussing negative and sensitive topics

People are more engaged and willing to share when they are relaxed and happy. Especially when you don’t know someone well, it is always better to focus on the positives – avoid both sharing your biggest troubles and bringing up topics that could be negative from a cultural, religious, political, or even personal perspective. There is always something positive to share!

3) Trying to 'win' an argument

Particularly when speaking with someone you don’t know well and/or someone from another country or background, it is precarious for a conversation (especially one where you are practicing your English conversation skills) to evolve into a debate or argument. It is likely that for any two people, there will be many points of disagreement, and if such differences emerge, it’s better to attempt to understand the other person’s point of view rather than to 'win' an argument. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree about specific issues and move on.

4) Disrespecting others beliefs

If you want a great conversation, others must feel you aren’t judgmental. When someone feels their ideas and beliefs are questioned or belittled, any meaningful exchange will often shut down. Instead, try listening for understanding, and you may learn something!

5) 'Hogging' the stage

It is said that great actors make their fellow performers look great. It is the essence of teamwork, and the same principle applies to great conversationalists. Ask questions that allow others to be positive, confident, and maybe even a little boastful, but certainly remember to do it in a genuine way. The positive energy will be contagious!

6) Fearing learning something unknown

There are over seven billion people worldwide, and none are exactly like you! The greatest learning experiences are often from interactions with those who are very different from ourselves. Embrace and celebrate those differences. Allow others to share their unique perspective and journey, always keeping in mind we all share so much in common. We all want to be happy, love others, and have meaning in our lives.

7) Trying to be someone you are not

There’s only one person you can be, so don’t try to be someone else or something you are not. A great conversation is based on authenticity; most people can easily sense when another is not truthful or authentic. While keeping in mind all of the other rules, it’s both acceptable and expected for you to share your own journey!

8) Monopolizing the conversation

We’ve all been in those conversations where the other person dominates by talking incessantly. At some point, we shut down, just waiting for it to end. Active listening and learning ceases. Engagement requires participation from both parties – don’t hold back from sharing, but at the same time, don’t be that person who dominates and effectively shuts down that engagement.

9) Focusing on superficial topics

What separates a great conversation from 'small talk' is the meaningful nature of the dialog. Talking about the weather doesn’t elicit much other than maybe politeness. A great conversationalist elicits meaningful thoughts from others, and those come from purposeful questions. People love to think; asking them something that requires thoughtfulness deepens the conversation's value and strengthens the relationship between the parties.

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    Acing the app English International Certificate: 10 essential revision strategies

    Por Amy Malloy

    Every student and teacher knows how important revision is ahead of exams. It’s not only about how much students revise and practice – it’s also about how they do it.

    So, if you or your students are preparing for the app English International Certificate (PEIC), here are ten top revision strategies to help. All of the advice below can be applied to all six levels from A1 to Level 5.

    Know what to expect

    You can download detailed 'Functions and Notions' guides for all levels. These will give you a very clear idea of the language we expect students to produce at each level. You can download the test guides for each level as well as practice tests and other important documents.

    Work on synonyms and paraphrasing

    Often in the reading and listening tasks, the answers will be synonyms or paraphrased versions of the question. Working with synonyms and paraphrasing in class or at home is a great way to expand vocabulary and help be better prepared for the test. In the A1 test students are expected to show only “a very basic repertoire of words and simple phrases”, but as they progress through the levels, more range is expected in vocabulary and grammar.

    Focus on sentence structure

    As well as helping to improve grammatical control, taking a close look at sentence structure will really benefit you or your learners, especially in the dictation task (section 2). Identifying the tense of a verb or whether they need to use this or these, for example, will help you avoid losing points unnecessarily. It’s also important that they check sentences are complete and correct in the gap-fill tasks at higher levels (Sections 3 and 7), so always tell them/make sure to re-read the whole sentence for every question.

    Create a list of errors

    We all know that learners often make the same mistakes, so a good idea is for them to create a personalized errors list.

    Teacher: Each time you do a writing task, dictation, or gap fill, have them write down the typical mistakes they make. Then, next time, tell them to check their work with their list before you correct it.

    Self-learner: Make sure to take note of the mistakes you make and put them into a list, taking care to avoid them in the future.

    Use a highlighter

    Get yourself or your students into the habit of highlighting or underlining keywords in questions every time you do a task. This helps learners focus on the information they need to listen or look for and also encourages them to subconsciously start thinking about vocabulary related to the topic. This could be practiced by downloading a sample exam and practicing underlining the keywords.

    Say more

    For the spoken test, train your students to expand their answers and make sure they feel comfortable talking about themselves. At higher levels, give your learners language so they can support their point of view. Remind them that the topics may be more complex, but they still need to be able to give an opinion about them.

    Listen to as much as possible

    In the listening sections, learners will hear a variety of different accents from people of different ages, so it’s important to expose them/yourself to lots of different voices in preparation for the test. That might be a parent talking to a child or an elderly person in a shop, so the more experience someone has listening to different dialogues, the better. As well as the listening activities in coursebooks, encourage students to listen to podcasts or watch videos on YouTube in their free time.

    Be (in)formal

    In the writing and role play, it’s important for learners to know what level of formality is required for each task. They should have lots of practice in written and spoken structures to deal with different types of people, such as a friend, a shop assistant or a bank manager. Also remind them to make the most of the 15 seconds they have to prepare the role play in the spoken test and think about the type of structures and vocabulary they’ll need.

    Keep to the word limit

    For each of the writing tasks, there is a ‘tolerated word limit’ which allows students to be a few words over or under. However, you should train learners to keep an eye on how much they are writing so they become familiar with the required task length. Students can save time calculating exactly how many words they’ve written by choosing an average line from their writing, counting the number of words on that line and then multiplying it by the total number of full lines.

    It’s also essential students practice writing under exam conditions so they get used to completing the tasks quickly. Be sure to include some exam practice in class or as a self-learner, try to practice with a past exam paper in a quiet place, replicating exam conditions as closely as you can.

    Check the answers again

    While our final tip isn’t really a revision strategy, it’s certainly very helpful for students to bear in mind when applying all of the other revision strategies. It is essential that students leave themselves time at the end of the test to check through their paper: Have they filled in every question? Are the sentences complete in the gap fill tasks? Have they checked their writing and remembered their frequent mistakes? Are all the answers clear and easy to read? One final check-through could make all the difference!

    With these top tips, you or your students will be more than ready for the test. Good luck!

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    Mindfulness activities for kids to reduce stress

    Por Amy Malloy

    How can we help children (and ourselves) deal with turbulent situations?

    As humans, we are programmed to position ourselves according to the constants around us: people, structures and boundaries. When those constants shift, it can be unsettling for adults and children.

    Sometimes we find ourselves in unprecedented situations, and we each have our own approach to managing things. If you feel confused and without direction because of a turbulent situation, please know that that is okay.

    We’ll look today at why that is, to help us understand ourselves a little more and why these simple mindfulness activities can help us navigate it.

    What causes social stress?

    There may be many reasons for feeling stressed in life, but during turbulent times in society, it is often due to not feeling safe.

    Something in our environment is alerting our survival instinct. This makes our brains produce stress hormones, which get us ready to fight the threat, run from it, or freeze until it’s gone away.

    The threat might be to our physical or even social survival – and the two are linked. Things can feel even scarier when we also feel isolated from our social group, which keeps us protected from that threat.

    Human beings are social by nature. We live and work in communities, we connect through love and empathy and we protect each other. There’s truth to the saying“there’s safety in numbers”.

    But it’s not just about safety. We also define ourselves by comparing ourselves to others and working out what we are not.

    Research has found that we identify deeply with our role in society and the ‘pack’ to which we belong. This holds deep ties with our sense of safety, contentment and self-esteem. If the boundaries by which we define and position ourselves have shifted or continue to shift, we will feel unsafe, threatened and therefore stressed.

    Are children affected by social stress in the same way?

    If we then apply this to children, the constants to whom they look for security are the adults in their life. If the adults are behaving differently, the children will feel a shift and feel unsafe and stressed too. If they don’t have their friends alongside them for social positioning, this too can lead to them feeling confused and uncertain.

    Here are some key ways we can help:

    Communicating and listening

    Children may often lack the language to express what they are feeling, or even to recognize it themselves. Therefore, we must offer ways to help them make sense of the world around them, to help them feel safe and to help express their concerns.

    Communication provides the necessary social interaction and models for them on how to handle the new situation. It firms up their boundaries, and provides a safe space where they feel listened to and acknowledged and this, in turn, helps diffuse their stress.

    The activity below is a lovely way to invite children to express any worry they might be feeling, mindfully and with support – and give them something to do with their feelings. It also has the benefit of helping them breathe fully and slowly, which will calm down their nervous system.

    Breath activity: Worry bubbles

    1. Sit together and invite your child to put their palms together.
    2. Invite them to take a big breath in. As they breathe in, they can draw their palms further and further apart, spreading their fingers as they imagine blowing up a big bubble between their hands.
    3. Invite them to whisper a worry into the bubble.
    4. Invite them to blow the breath out nice and slowly. As they breathe out, they can imagine blowing the bubble (and the worry) away with a big sigh.
    5. Twinkle the fingers back down to the lap, and start again, either with the same worry or a new one

    Helping them find a safety anchor inside themselves

    By helping children focus on breathing, we can teach them that even if things feel wobbly around them, their breath is always there. The act of focusing on the breath also helps settle the fight or flight branch of their nervous system into a calmer, more balanced state.

    Breath Activity: Counting breaths

    1. Invite your child to sit with you.
    2. Invite them to place their hands on their tummy and breathe in slowly so they push into their hands, counting slowly up to four.
    3. As they breathe out, invite them to count up to six, as they slowly empty the belly and their hands lower back down.
    4. Continue until they feel calmer. You can do this every morning or evening to help sustain balance. With younger children, they might like a teddy on their tummy to push up and down!

    These two activities can be lovely daily practices to try and provide some safety and structure to your child or students’ mental health right now. They are also enjoyable activities to try for yourself – you may like to increase the in and out count of the breath a little bit for an adult breath.