How to help students deal with conflict in group work

Rachael Roberts
children sat at a desk working together

Is avoiding conflict always a good thing?

Why is it that some groups work smoothly together, whereas for others it always seems to end in arguments? It may seem logical to avoid group work with classes where it often leads to disagreement, but is there such a thing as ‘healthy disagreement’?

Perhaps the groups that appear to be working well together are actually just letting one or two people do everything? This would certainly avoid conflict, but they might also be avoiding learning very much.

Sometimes conflict is a necessary step that teachers (of all subjects, not just language teachers) have to acknowledge as an important part of a learner's development.

Conflict in group work
Play
Privacy and cookies

By watching, you agree app can share your viewership data for marketing and analytics for one year, revocable by deleting your cookies.

The psychologist famously argued that conflict within groups is entirely normal, and can even be desirable. the typical stages of groups learning to work together effectively as Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing:

Forming

When the group is forming, most members will be polite. They will be looking to you or to a more confident group member to take the lead. Many of the group members may actually be quite disengaged.

Storming

Storming happens as they start to feel more confident and comfortable within the group, and willing to take a more active role. People may be trying to sort out what the unspoken rules are, or what roles everyone is taking. Or they may be more willing to point out potential problems.

Norming

Norming is when things start to sort themselves out and people are working together better. It’s very common for teams to keep going back and forth between storming and norming for quite a while.

Performing

Finally, performing is when the team successfully achieves the goal.

Essentially, Tuckman was saying that, without at least some conflict or storming, groups are unlikely to be able to perform successfully. It is necessary to go through this stage and out the other side.

Being able to deal effectively with conflict is a very valuable skill, both at school and in life. So how can we help students to develop this skill?

Learning how to manage conflict

Listening is the most important skill we can teach our language students. Unfortunately, many of us are not as good at listening as we might think. A lot of the time, we are busy thinking about what we are going to say next, or even thinking about something else altogether.

Students can practice active listening by having to reflect back on what their partner has said. For example: ‘So you’re saying that…’ or by asking relevant questions.

If feelings are running high, we can teach them to still let the other person finish. They should then check they have understood, rather than jumping in too quickly with their own side of the story.

We can also encourage empathy by asking students to put themselves into the other student’s position. They should try and explain how they think they are feeling, or why they have such a different opinion.

Finally, we can get students into problem-solving mode, rather than staying with personal feelings. We can do this by asking them to suggest ways of coming to an agreement.

As long as it is managed well and doesn’t get out of hand, conflict and disagreement can ultimately lead to better outcomes than overly polite agreement, because more is at stake.

So, make sure to help students develop the confidence to deal with conflict in group work and disagree with each other, but also the interpersonal skills to do so in a productive and empathic way.

More blogs from app

  • A child and parent laying on a carpet staring at eachother and smiling

    Mindfulness activities for kids to reduce stress

    By Amy Malloy

    How can we help children (and ourselves) deal with turbulent situations?

    As humans, we are programmed to position ourselves according to the constants around us: people, structures and boundaries. When those constants shift, it can be unsettling for adults and children.

    Sometimes we find ourselves in unprecedented situations, and we each have our own approach to managing things. If you feel confused and without direction because of a turbulent situation, please know that that is okay.

    We’ll look today at why that is, to help us understand ourselves a little more and why these simple mindfulness activities can help us navigate it.

    What causes social stress?

    There may be many reasons for feeling stressed in life, but during turbulent times in society, it is often due to not feeling safe.

    Something in our environment is alerting our survival instinct. This makes our brains produce stress hormones, which get us ready to fight the threat, run from it, or freeze until it’s gone away.

    The threat might be to our physical or even social survival – and the two are linked. Things can feel even scarier when we also feel isolated from our social group, which keeps us protected from that threat.

    Human beings are social by nature. We live and work in communities, we connect through love and empathy and we protect each other. There’s truth to the saying“there’s safety in numbers”.

    But it’s not just about safety. We also define ourselves by comparing ourselves to others and working out what we are not.

    Research has found that we identify deeply with our role in society and the ‘pack’ to which we belong. This holds deep ties with our sense of safety, contentment and self-esteem. If the boundaries by which we define and position ourselves have shifted or continue to shift, we will feel unsafe, threatened and therefore stressed.

    Are children affected by social stress in the same way?

    If we then apply this to children, the constants to whom they look for security are the adults in their life. If the adults are behaving differently, the children will feel a shift and feel unsafe and stressed too. If they don’t have their friends alongside them for social positioning, this too can lead to them feeling confused and uncertain.

    Here are some key ways we can help:

    Communicating and listening

    Children may often lack the language to express what they are feeling, or even to recognize it themselves. Therefore, we must offer ways to help them make sense of the world around them, to help them feel safe and to help express their concerns.

    Communication provides the necessary social interaction and models for them on how to handle the new situation. It firms up their boundaries, and provides a safe space where they feel listened to and acknowledged and this, in turn, helps diffuse their stress.

    The activity below is a lovely way to invite children to express any worry they might be feeling, mindfully and with support – and give them something to do with their feelings. It also has the benefit of helping them breathe fully and slowly, which will calm down their nervous system.

    Breath activity: Worry bubbles

    1. Sit together and invite your child to put their palms together.
    2. Invite them to take a big breath in. As they breathe in, they can draw their palms further and further apart, spreading their fingers as they imagine blowing up a big bubble between their hands.
    3. Invite them to whisper a worry into the bubble.
    4. Invite them to blow the breath out nice and slowly. As they breathe out, they can imagine blowing the bubble (and the worry) away with a big sigh.
    5. Twinkle the fingers back down to the lap, and start again, either with the same worry or a new one

    Helping them find a safety anchor inside themselves

    By helping children focus on breathing, we can teach them that even if things feel wobbly around them, their breath is always there. The act of focusing on the breath also helps settle the fight or flight branch of their nervous system into a calmer, more balanced state.

    Breath Activity: Counting breaths

    1. Invite your child to sit with you.
    2. Invite them to place their hands on their tummy and breathe in slowly so they push into their hands, counting slowly up to four.
    3. As they breathe out, invite them to count up to six, as they slowly empty the belly and their hands lower back down.
    4. Continue until they feel calmer. You can do this every morning or evening to help sustain balance. With younger children, they might like a teddy on their tummy to push up and down!

    These two activities can be lovely daily practices to try and provide some safety and structure to your child or students’ mental health right now. They are also enjoyable activities to try for yourself – you may like to increase the in and out count of the breath a little bit for an adult breath.