How to support your children going back to school
The back-to-school transition is a pivotal time for families. As always, encouragement and positivity are important to support your child – and clear, enforceable routines and expectations are the secret to helping your child settle back into school. Set your child up for success with these practical, easy-to-follow steps, tailored for each age group.
For primary and elementary school children (Ages 5–11)
1. Set a consistent sleep and waking schedule and stick to it
- Action: At least one week before school starts, set a firm wake-up and bedtime, including a shut-off time for screens – ideally an hour before bedtime. Find soothing activities to help your child relax before bed: for example, if their bedtime is 8:00 pm, you could start the wind-down routine at 7:00 pm by reading a favourite story together and listening to peaceful music. Some children wake naturally, others struggle to get up and may need an alarm clock to help them.Â
- Enforcement:Â Remember to stick to the bedtime routine: no exceptions on school nights.Â
2. Practice the morning routine
- Action: Do a rehearsal of the school morning: getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, and being ready to leave the house on time. If your child is attending a new school, it may reassure them to rehearse the journey in advance.Â
- Enforcement: Use a visual checklist on the fridge to help your child track which tasks need to be done. Some families prefer no screens at all in the morning, but if you have morning screentime then ensure there's no TV or devices until all tasks are complete.
3. Organize school supplies together
- Action: Label all supplies in advance. Take the time every evening to pack their schoolbag together each evening.
- Enforcement:Â Let your child be responsible for checking off a packing list before bed. If they forget something, if appropriate and within reason, you could let them experience the natural consequence.
4. Establish a homework zone
- Action: Set up a specific, distraction-free spot for homework.
- Enforcement:Â Ensure that homework happens before playtime or screen time. Use a timer if needed to keep them focused: most children find it easier to concentrate for a finite period rather than an infinite one (for example, "work until the timer goes off in 15 minutes" is easier for a child to respond to than "work until you've completely finished your homework").Â
5. Practice independence
- Action: Teach your child tasks that are appropriate for their age and ability: for example, this could include tieing their shoelaces, zipping up their coat and opening their lunchbox.
- Enforcement:Â Don't rush to help if they struggle at first. Remind them of the steps, help them if they need, support them all the way. Praise their effort, even if they can't yet do the task perfectly.
For middle school children (Ages 11–14)
1. Use a family calendar
- Action: Post a large calendar in a common area. Mark it with assignment due dates, tests and extracurricular activities.
- Enforcement: Review the calendar together every Sunday. Give your child the resopnsibility of updating it with new info from school.
2. Set device rules
- Action: Devices should not be in the bedroom overnight: set up device charging points somewhere outside bedrooms, for example in the kitchen, to prevent temptation. Set a “no screens” rule during homework and set a time to switch screens off every evening, preferably an hour before bedtime.Â
- Enforcement:Â If need be, use parental controls or apps to limit screen time. Devices could also be handed in at a set time each night.
3. Encourage self-advocacy
- Action: If your child has a problem at school, support them in resolving it. Don't rush to solve the problem for them, ask them how they could approach the issue and guide them towards a good solution. If need be, coach them on how to email a teacher or ask for help in person.Â
- Enforcement: Don’t step in immediately – give them the space and support to devise a possible solution. Support and coach as needed to build their confidence in handling the situation themselves.Â
4. Make packing lunch their job
- Action: Teach your child to pack their own lunch the night before.
- Enforcement: If they forget to prepare or bring it, choose the response that's safe and appropriate for your chld's age and abilities. It might be that you need to remind them, or it might be that they need to experience natural consequences and buy their own lunch.
5. Set clear after-school expectations
- Action: Decide together what happens after school: for example, they might want to have a snack before they start their homework, and they might want to do their chores after dinner.
- Enforcement:Â Together, set the rules that are right for your child. For example, no video games or social media until homework and chores are done.
For high-school students (ages 14–18)
1. Require a weekly planning session
- Action: Sit down every Sunday to review the week ahead. Consider deadlines, activities and work shifts and plan accordingly.Â
- Enforcement: If your teen misses a deadline, if appropriate, let them handle the consequences with teachers or coaches.
2. Enforce a “No-phone zone” during study time
- Action:Â Ensure that phones are placed in another room during homework.
- Enforcement: Use apps that block distracting sites or physically remove the phone.
3. Set a reasonable curfew, even for seniors
- Action: Agree on a curfew for school nights and weekends.
- Enforcement:Â If the curfew is broken, discuss consequences and follow through. For example, if your teen is one hour late home, the next time they must come home an hour early.Â
4. Expect participation in household responsibilities
- Action: Discuss how to split household chores. Some teenagers prefer to take responsibility for a particular chore, such as doing the dishes. Other families may need to split regular chores such as laundry, cleaning and emptying the bin.Â
- Enforcement: No privileges such as car keys and allowance until chores are done.
5. Monitor academic progress, but don’t micromanage
- Action: Check grades and other school feedback together regularly. Ask about upcoming tests and projects.
- Enforcement: If their grades slip, find out if there's an underlying reason and offer support. Your child may require a study plan or a limit on their extracurricular activities until improvement is shown.
Universal tips for all ages
- Consistent mealtimes: Eat a meal together regularly, if your schedules allow. Some families meet for breakfast, others for dinner. Make sure your child is not skipping meals, especially on school days.
- Limit extracurricular overload: One or two activities per term is plenty. Be sure to protect their downtime.
- Model organization: Use lists, calendars and reminder apps and show your chldren how they help you stay organized.
- Open communication: Have a daily check-in if possible. Ask about the best and most challenging parts of their day.
Returning to school doesn't have to be stressful for children: it's a great opportunity for them to learn new skills and develop their confidence. Finding rules and routines that work for your child, and enforcing them consistently, will encourage your child's sense of responsibility and boost their skills – benefiting them both inside and outside the classroom.Â