9 English conversation mistakes to avoid

Mohamed Shaik
Two young women on a sofa talking to eachother

As humans, we learn and grow through our interactions with other people. Often these encounters are centered around great conversations – rich, meaningful exchanges among a small group of people where each person actively listens and shares. Great discussions are invaluable – they enrich our understanding of people and the world around us. Socially, being someone who can engage effortlessly with others allows us to create deep friendships and gain incredible personal growth and satisfaction. In our careers, we are more effective when we work well with others – the ability to collaborate and solve problems together makes us more effective professionals and makes our businesses more successful.

Common English conversation mistakes

But what if you must hold a conversation in English and it is not your native language? One of the many obstacles to learning something new, like English conversation, is that it can be difficult, time-consuming and even a little scary! That’s why we put together a list of nine English conversation mistakes to avoid that apply whether you are speaking with one or several people at once. Keep these tips in mind to help you improve your interactions with people all over the world…

1) Faking interest in the person

One of the things that separates a conversation from a 'transaction' (such as ordering something in a restaurant) is the genuine mutual interest of each person in the other. If one isn’t interested in knowing more about the other person, neither will engage meaningfully, and the interaction will become transactional or just 'small talk'. Most people are fascinating – take the time to learn what you can about them.

2) Discussing negative and sensitive topics

People are more engaged and willing to share when they are relaxed and happy. Especially when you don’t know someone well, it is always better to focus on the positives – avoid both sharing your biggest troubles and bringing up topics that could be negative from a cultural, religious, political, or even personal perspective. There is always something positive to share!

3) Trying to 'win' an argument

Particularly when speaking with someone you don’t know well and/or someone from another country or background, it is precarious for a conversation (especially one where you are practicing your English conversation skills) to evolve into a debate or argument. It is likely that for any two people, there will be many points of disagreement, and if such differences emerge, it’s better to attempt to understand the other person’s point of view rather than to 'win' an argument. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree about specific issues and move on.

4) Disrespecting others beliefs

If you want a great conversation, others must feel you aren’t judgmental. When someone feels their ideas and beliefs are questioned or belittled, any meaningful exchange will often shut down. Instead, try listening for understanding, and you may learn something!

5) 'Hogging' the stage

It is said that great actors make their fellow performers look great. It is the essence of teamwork, and the same principle applies to great conversationalists. Ask questions that allow others to be positive, confident, and maybe even a little boastful, but certainly remember to do it in a genuine way. The positive energy will be contagious!

6) Fearing learning something unknown

There are over seven billion people worldwide, and none are exactly like you! The greatest learning experiences are often from interactions with those who are very different from ourselves. Embrace and celebrate those differences. Allow others to share their unique perspective and journey, always keeping in mind we all share so much in common. We all want to be happy, love others, and have meaning in our lives.

7) Trying to be someone you are not

There’s only one person you can be, so don’t try to be someone else or something you are not. A great conversation is based on authenticity; most people can easily sense when another is not truthful or authentic. While keeping in mind all of the other rules, it’s both acceptable and expected for you to share your own journey!

8) Monopolizing the conversation

We’ve all been in those conversations where the other person dominates by talking incessantly. At some point, we shut down, just waiting for it to end. Active listening and learning ceases. Engagement requires participation from both parties – don’t hold back from sharing, but at the same time, don’t be that person who dominates and effectively shuts down that engagement.

9) Focusing on superficial topics

What separates a great conversation from 'small talk' is the meaningful nature of the dialog. Talking about the weather doesn’t elicit much other than maybe politeness. A great conversationalist elicits meaningful thoughts from others, and those come from purposeful questions. People love to think; asking them something that requires thoughtfulness deepens the conversation's value and strengthens the relationship between the parties.

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    Why is critical thinking so important?

    In the past, success in education was largely based on the ability to remember facts and figures. However, the skills which our students need today go further than memorization. With our rapidly evolving technology, the internet, and the bewildering amount of information online, it is essential that our students can use higher-order thinking skills to analyze and assess the information they are presented with.

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    Devising long-term goals

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    At the start of the course, take a moment to chat with each student individually and ask them to identify an objective for the first part of the year. You may like to brainstorm possible objectives as a class first, but it’s important for students to determine their own personal objectives, rather than imposing objectives on them.

    During the first half of the year you can talk to each student about their progress and ask them to assess to what extent they’re achieving their goals.

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    Analyzing

    The ability to analyze options, risks and opinions will help your students in the future in many situations, including when they decide which course to take at university or which job to take.

    You can practice this skill by providing students with relatable situations and asking them to analyze and compare the options.

    For example:

    Imagine you are taking a trip with some friends this summer. You have a number of different options and want to discuss them before finalizing your plans. Talk to a partner about the different trips and decide which would be best:

    • Traveling around Europe by train for a month ($1,000)
    • A weekend hiking and camping in the countryside ($200)
    • A weekend break in a big city, with shopping, sightseeing and museum trips ($500)
    • A week-long trip to the beach in an all-inclusive resort ($650)

    Anticipating consequences

    Students also need to have an awareness of the consequences of their actions; this is a skill which is transferable to making business decisions, as well as being important in their everyday lives.

    To practice this skill, put students into small groups and give them the first part of a conditional sentence. One student completes the sentence and then the next student adds a consequence to that statement.

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    Student A: If I don’t study for my English exam, I won’t pass.

    Student B: If I don’t pass my English exam, my parents won’t let me go out this weekend.

    Student C: If I can’t go out this weekend, I’ll miss the big football match.

    Student D: My coach won’t let me play next year if I miss the big match.

    Rearranging the class menu

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    • Class discussion (5 minutes)

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    • Vocabulary game (5 minutes)
    • Reading activity (15 minutes)
    • Grammar review game (5 minutes)
    • Speaking activity (10 minutes)

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    7 reading strategies for primary and secondary

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    Reading can transport students to new places, immerse them in incredible adventures and teach them more about the amazing world around them.

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    1. Predicting what’s to come

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    Divide the class into teams and write the title of the text on the board. Have them work in their teams and write ten words they predict will be in the text, based on the title.

    After a few minutes, have teams swap lists and, as they read the text, check the words the other team correctly predicted.

    If you are teaching primary, you can do the same activity using any images which accompany the text. Have students describe the image in pairs first and then work in teams to predict the article's content, as above.

    2. Summarizing

    This strategy can focus on both the general idea of the text (the gist), and the most important details within it.

    To work on using summarizing for gist, give students a text and three short summaries of it, no longer than a sentence each. After students scan the text once, have them choose which of the three summaries best matches the general idea of the text.

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    This not only encourages students to identify the text's main points but also requires them to use paraphrasing skills to put the ideas into their own words.

    Note that primary learners may need your support to create a summary. It’s a good idea to create a gapped text which they can complete with the keywords of the text. This will also help build their vocabulary.

    3. Identifying topic sentences

    Whether your students are reading for gist or detail, a topic sentence can give them the necessary information. Topic sentences are found at the start of a paragraph and are frequently used in articles and academic research to give the reader the main idea of what is to come. If you are unsure what a topic sentence looks like, the first sentence of this paragraph is an example!

    One idea to introduce students to the idea of topic sentences is to find a text with four or five paragraphs and remove the topic sentence from each.

    Give the students the gapped text and the topic sentences and have them match each sentence to the correct paragraph. This will highlight how topic sentences provide a summary of the main idea of each paragraph.

    This can be an effective task for both primary and secondary students, though it’s likely that primary students will be working with shorter texts. If you have a text with only three paragraphs, you can write a couple of distractor sentences to make the activity more challenging.

    4. Comparing and contrasting

    As with any aspect of language learning, if students can create a personal connection to the content, they will be more engaged and more likely to remember the information.

    We can use compare and contrast questions with any text. For example, for texts which tell a personal story, we can ask:

    • How are you similar or different to this person?
    • What would you do in that situation?

    For texts which talk about a particular issue, we can ask:

    • Do you think this is a problem in your country?
    • What would you do in this situation?

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    5. Understanding numbers

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    Our younger learners might need help appreciating long distances or large quantities, so providing them with something more tangible can help them greatly.

    When working with distances and sizes, try to use familiar locations, such as the length of the school playground or the area of the classroom, and compare these locations to the measurement in the text.

    Similarly with quantities, find something which students can relate to easily. For example, if a text talks about the number of people, compare that amount to the number of students in the class.

    6. Working with vocabulary

    Teaching students how to use a dictionary is important, but it’s also essential that students can use other skills to understand new words when they can’t reach for a dictionary.

    As teachers, it’s important for us to identify the keywords in a text which we want students to remember and use after the lesson. You may choose to pre-teach this vocabulary so that students can approach the reading with a good understanding of the key lexis.

    However, there may be times when you want students to predict the meaning – of key and subsidiary vocabulary – from the context. It’s helpful to teach students to read around unfamiliar words as this helps them to identify the type of word it is (noun, verb, adjective, and so on), which helps them understand a particular word’s meaning within a sentence.

    7. Separating fact and opinion

    While many texts our students read are factual, there will be times when they also need to distinguish between fact and opinion.

    Sometimes, we can infer the writer’s attitude towards a topic by looking at the type of language they use and identifying whether words are neutral, or if they give us clues as to the writer’s opinion. This can be a difficult distinction for our students to make but we can do activities with the students to raise their awareness.

    Take a subject students are likely to have different opinions about, such as a famous footballer. Ask the students to tell you about that person, then categorize the words they give you as to whether they provide a fact or an opinion. Words such as tall, Brazilian and blue eyes would be facts about the player. Whereas amazing, stupid or the best player ever would show their opinion.